What If…
A spark, that turned into an idea, that (has almost) turned into a podcast.
What If…
For so long now, I feel like I have been functioning on autopilot.
Get up. Make breakfast and lunches. Yell reminders about PE clothes, library books, socks, brushing teeth, and grabbing breakfast before running out the door. Endless drop-offs and pick-ups. Laundry. Groceries. Meal planning. Dog walks. Sports. Birthday parties. Volunteer work. The list somehow never goes away… but strangely grows even bigger by the end of each day.
And the truth? I am subpar at all of it.
Seriously.
There are stacks of papers sitting in bins and piled on counters all over the house. Laundry waits days to be done. Sometimes ordering takeout becomes mandatory because groceries somehow ended up last on the list again. Washing the car? Forget about it.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I started having this sinking suspicion that maybe I was meant to be on this planet for something more than simply managing this madhouse of invisible tasks. And before anyone misunderstands me — my children are my everything. They are my greatest joy, the source of my strength, and the center of my world. I would choose them a billion times over.
But just as I dream of all there is for them in this lifetime, I started wondering when I stopped believing in the same for myself.
I don’t think I am alone in this.
I think there are so many people — especially women and mothers — who quietly place themselves in the background of our own lives. We become the organizers, the supporters, the steady ones holding everything together. We cheer for everyone else’s dreams while slowly setting our own aside, never stopping for a second to question whether anyone is cheering for us too. We make the dinner, but are the first to sacrifice what’s on our plates if someone is extra hungry.
But why does it have to be this way?
Isn’t there enough room for me to care for those I love and include myself in the equation?
And that is where I find myself today.
What if…
I stop ignoring the spark of an idea that keeps nagging at me underneath all the daily responsibilities?
What if…
I allow myself to turn that spark into something real? Something living and breathing that I created? Something that feels deeply part of me, begging to be heard?
And what if…
I put all of this work into a project that no one notices? No one listens to? What if it fails completely? What then?
…
But what if…
they do listen?
What if…
they do care?
What if…
the hardest and scariest parts of my story become the very things that make someone else feel less alone?
And what if…
by sharing my story, I help someone else believe in themselves again, too?
So this is my first Substack post.
A quiet beginning that maybe no one will ever find. But what if someone does? And what if that someone is you?
The most exhilarating feeling is that I have already turned my spark into an idea, and I am currently in the process of physically and mentally taking up space in the world in the form of a podcast.
I am creating again.
I am listening to myself again.
And I am allowing myself to believe in something again.
The coolest part is that the thing I am finally believing in… is me.
So welcome to Soul Notes.
The Soul Trip podcast is currently in the works, and it is simultaneously the thing I am most scared of, most proud of, and the thing I finally decided to stop talking myself out of doing.
I am so glad you are here.
— Timmi
P.S. My hope is to share one thoughtful Soul Note each month as the Soul Trip podcast comes to life — along with a few of my reflections along the way. If this resonated with you, I’d love for you to subscribe and come along for the journey. You can also find more reflections and Field Notes at Soul Trip Podcast
